Monday Mindset
Restorative Rest
Happy Monday, friends.
We’re in week two of four of the theme of rest as a necessary practice of renewal in our lives. In the first week, we explored how the different aspects of physical rest are beneficial. This week, we’re looking at two more types of rest: emotional and sensory.
Take a load off, grab a warm beverage, and join me as we explore how we can utilize and practice:
Restorative Rest
“Real rest feels like every cell is thanking you for taking care of you. It’s calm, not full of checklists and chores. It’s simple: not multitasking; not fixing broken things.”
— Jennifer Williamson
While you are certainly aware of the necessity of physical rest in your life, does your understanding of what rest is stop with your body? Sleep and gentle activities are important for your health, but you already know that. Other types of rest may be easily overlooked—especially if you don’t realize the impact of practicing them.
Today, let’s look at emotional rest. What does it mean to experience it? Based on the work of Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, emotional rest happens when we are able to authentically express our feelings.
We cannot keep our emotions locked up or suppressed indefinitely. We need safe spaces and people to share them with. Our souls need to tell the truth, and part of that truth-telling is being able to be honest about how we feel. Ignoring what needs to be expressed in us doesn’t make us better than anyone else—it just means we’re more disconnected from that part of us.
Sure, we should be careful about who we share the most vulnerable parts of ourselves with—including our sensitive emotions. But we have to express them somehow. As we share our honest state with trusted people in our lives, we will experience greater peace. Instead of protecting ourselves or projecting our feelings on others, we get to feel them, share them, and process them.
According to The University of Kansas Health System,
“When we fail to express our emotions, our brain can often go into the fight-or-flight state. This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies. It increases our heart rate, slows digestive functions and makes us feel anxious or depressed.”
Learning to feel and express our emotions is necessary to our whole-bodied health. When we feel as if we don’t have the freedom to be authentic with our emotions, we will have an emotional rest deficit.
Emotionally-draining situations also affect our bandwidth. It’s important that we realize we can (and should) step away from these stressors, whether at work or in relational dynamics. This isn’t to say we need to step away from them forever, but taking breaks is imperative for our emotional health. What’s also important is setting firm boundaries to protect our emotional health.
Emotional exhaustion is something most of us come up against at some point, especially if we are reaching burnout. Accumulated stress from work, our personal lives, and often a mixture of both, leads to being worn-out.
Signs of emotional exhaustion can be both emotional and physical. According to healthline,
“People experiencing emotional exhaustion often feel like they have no power or control over what happens in life. They may feel “stuck” or “trapped” in a situation. Lack of energy, poor sleep, and decreased motivation can make it difficult to overcome emotional exhaustion.”
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, you, my friend, might have an emotional rest deficit. This may require more drastic action on your part to eliminate the stressors that keep you drained and overwhelmed. It’s difficult to pour from an empty cup, as they say.
So, what can you do about this? How can you prioritize emotional rest?
Be really intentional about sharing your authentic feelings with at least one person in your life.
This could be a trusted friend or a professional counselor.
It is less about who and more that you can share your emotions openly without minimizing them.
Your feelings matter. Really.
Feelings are put in their proper place when you express them outside of yourself. They are not the full picture, but they may be trying to communicate something to you.
Validating your own emotions matters, too.
When you feel angry (sad, afraid, etc), it’s okay to admit it.
Even simply admitting it to yourself can move you from being overtaken by the feeling to expressing it. [ex: I am really sad about this, and that’s ok]
This diffuses the intensity and helps you validate what you’re experiencing.
Journal your emotions.
Putting pen to paper and words to feelings can help you process them.
Take an Emotional Inventory.
Are there people, events, or things that habitually drain you emotionally?
Think about ways you can minimize your interactions with them.
OR
Create boundaries around your time, attention, and your willingness to interact (what are you willing to do and what are you not?)
Practice being vulnerable when you’d rather minimize your feelings (especially in trusted relationships).
Make time for yourself (especially if you are a caregiver).
You can do this in short bursts, and also in longer periods.
Schedule it in (even fifteen minutes).
Don’t trade one emotionally heavy responsibility for another.
Do something that either gives you a break or fills you up (ideally both!).
Wondering when we’ll tackle the sensory part? This week’s Mid-Week Motivation will continue by diving into what sensory rest looks like. You don’t want to miss it! If you aren’t already a paid member, upgrade now, and you’ll get full access.
Are there areas of your life where you feel emotionally drained?
Were you aware of this already, or is this a new revelation?
As Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith so wisely says,
“You need a strategy of small things you can do today to start feeling better. I’d rather you do small amounts of restoration through your week than nothing, because then at least you’re pouring a little bit back into those buckets that are getting depleted and not letting them go all the way to burnout.”
Small amounts of restoration are what we’re looking to add this week.
Pick one of the practices from above (how you can prioritize emotional rest) and do it this week.
As always, I love to hear from you! Reply to this email, leave a comment in the app, or DM me in the app. I’m always available to you :-)
I genuinely hope you will experience emotional restoration as you move with intention in your relationships and in the spaces that hold you.
with so much grace,
Sara