Monday Mindset
Grace for your humanity
This week’s Monday Mindset continues on our theme of Compassion.
Settle in for a few minutes with me as we explore the importance of having:
Grace for your Humanity
Wherever we’re trying to go, we do not bully ourselves there. We believe ourselves there.
Leeana Tankersley
Ah, the struggles of life. None of us can escape them. Beating ourselves when we’re down will not help. Life is constantly in motion, and we will have good days and bad. Recognizing that struggle does not equal failure is helpful in offering ourselves grace when we are feeling far from our best.
Some of the most common struggles of life include:
Loneliness
Loss
Illness
Life changes (moves, relationship status changes, job loss or gain, growing families)
Though we look for reasons to point to why we struggle (if only I had done something differently, things would be different), we cannot fix the past. We cannot move backward to change the present. Even if we could, we cannot opt out of the harder parts of life (if not in one package, they will arrive in another).
When we realize that our struggles are not unique to us, it can help us see the bigger picture, as well as our place in it. Loneliness is not a character flaw. Neither is grief, illness, or changes to our minds or bodies in the transitions of life.
When we are gracious with ourselves, we do not deny ourselves the presence of love to meet us in these vulnerable places. We turn within, softening our approach and extending kindness to the weakest parts of us.
The shifts we are often looking for won’t be found solely in the world around us, no matter how set our hopes are on those markers (when the right leaders are elected, the economy is doing better, when we move to a better place, or when everyone in our lives are getting along). The biggest shifts start within us, and they begin as all things do—with one step in the right direction.
How we react to the very real struggles of life can either bring us closer to ourselves or push us further from connection. When we mess up, let’s offer ourselves the gracious act of compassion.
Are you tired? Instead of jumping to all the things you could have done to take care of yourself better (heaping blame), recognize, instead, what could be contributing to it. It is not only that you haven’t gotten enough sleep. Exhaustion also comes from: the mounting stresses of our lives. The demands that keep growing, rather than lessening with time. The crises in our lives and around us. The constant grabs for our attention. The work we just can’t leave at work.
Instead of using these factors as more proof of why we’re failing, let’s use it as a perspective shift. Struggling is not evidence that something is wrong with us. It is proof that we are human. We are not machines, and we are not gods. We are simple, flawed, beautifully messy, and wonderful. This is true when we’re at our worst and when we’re at our best.
What does it mean to have grace for our humanity? Allowing it all—the complexity of the human experience—without judging our goodness over it. We are worthy of love, understanding, of being witnessed, believed, and embraced. Compassion meets us in the cracks of our armor, and in the wounds of our disappointment.
How can you meet yourself with grace today?
Do you see most of your struggles as common or unique to you?
How does that perspective affect your self-compassion level?
Think about a struggle you have had recently. Consider how you have approached it (With disappointment, criticism, and/or shame? Or with compassion, curiosity, and/or kindness?) Commit to offering yourself compassion every time you think of yourself in that struggle.
Moving forward, offer yourself grace to mess up, to do things imperfectly, and to try again. You are human, after all.
Please remember your worth as a person is not tied to your mood, your performance, or your productivity. You are worthy of compassion today, no matter what kind of day you are having.
Sending so much love to you today. I hope that you will offer yourself the grace you deserve (hint: A LOT), and that you will continue to meet yourself and others with compassion.
Here’s to being softer with ourselves in an increasingly harsh world.