Monday Mindset
Part of a larger whole
Dropping In with your Monday Mindset on this mid-December afternoon.
In keeping with the monthly theme of Belonging, today we’ll be exploring the importance of knowing we are but a piece in the puzzle of this world, each of us,
Part of a Larger Whole
It is important to find a place where you feel trust, you feel belonging and stability.
—Bojan Krkic
To know yourself better, and to build a greater sense of belonging, sometimes you need to see where you fit into the larger picture. What groups do you belong to? What kinds of places are you drawn to? What are your relationships like? Are your struggles unique, or are they reflective of a larger human experience?
There can be relief when you share your suffering with another. There can also be deeper joy when you celebrate with those who know, and are invested, in you. You were created for connection; it is a core need of humanity.
“Studies have shown that we crave connection in the same region of the brain that we crave food, and we experience social exclusion in the same part of the brain that we experience physical pain.” Belonging’s Importance For Your Mental Health
Your need to belong is core to who you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you struggle in this area. Your brain is literally hardwired for belonging. When you can’t see your place in the grander scheme of things, it can leave you feeling a bit bereft.
On the other hand, when you feel connected to the larger world around you in various kinds of associations, you can increasingly become more settled in who you are. As long as you are seen, known, and supported, you will feel a sense of belonging
In a world where loneliness is an epidemic, isolation is not the answer. We need community, and not just superficial interactions with people. We need the support of belonging to people and spaces that hold us, and where we get to offer the same in return. This takes time to build, but it is worth our effort.
There is a sense of security, strength, identity, and even relief, in knowing we don’t have to go through life alone. Spaces that offer support are a gift. This can be found in individual relationships, support groups, faith spaces, creative communities, workplaces, and even in nature.
Once, when I was overwhelmed by grief, I took myself on a day trip up to Lake Superior. I felt the need to be by big water—something larger than my eyes could take in all at once. As I put my feet in the waters and looked out to the horizon, I felt a sensation of belonging to something greater than myself. In that moment, I knew that my pain was but a drop in the waters. My experience was not unique. It was a small part of a greater whole, and that comforted me. I felt somehow seen by nature and affirmed that it was going to be okay. I was going to be okay.
Belonging, wherever we find it, is a powerful force of connection that grounds us. The more grounded we feel, the more authentically we can show up in the world. The connections we make from that authentic place have powerful effects in our lives.
“Studies have identified numerous positive effects of having a healthy sense of belonging, including more positive social relationships, academic achievement, occupational success, and better physical and mental health (e.g., Allen et al., 2018, Goodenow & Grady, 1993, Hagerty et al., 1992).” [Belonging: A Review]
We benefit greatly from having connectedness to others in authenticity. The link between finding a sense of belonging in our own skin and knowing we have a place in the greater order of things is strong. It’s the both/and we talk about so often.
Today, there is opportunity for us to reach out to find commonalities of community when we feel isolated in our experience. Even one strong connection point can increase our sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves.
Pay attention to when you have moments of feeling connected to what is around you. This can happen in nature or in group settings. It can be in the middle of a forest or watching a movie where you feel kinship to others (Wicked, anyone?). Suddenly you feel less alone in your experience. Even where there are differences, you see the common thread of connection.
When this happens, make note of it. What gives you this feeling?
What is the common thread that connects you?
Write down the places and people you feel your truest, most supported, self around. When you are having an off day, make space to connect with at least one of them.
The year is coming quickly to an end, and with it, our first series. There is much more in store for this space beyond the Building Blocks of Connection. If you would like to have input into what we explore/dive into next, consider upgrading your subscription to a paid member.
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Such beautiful, important reminders, dear Sara. Thank you. Thank you. xo